


Grasping at Lost words

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Feelings Realization, Female Uchiha Sasuke, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Multi, One-Sided Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Protective Uzumaki Naruto, Rating May Change, Romance, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-01-26 07:16:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21370264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: For as long as Naruto remembered he'd loved Sasuke. Losing him was like losing all the stars in the sky. So he spent years and years creating his own lights and sending them into the sky like a million lanterns in hopes of bringing Sasuke back to him.-Feeling nostalgic from the recent Boruto episodes, here's my retelling of how the series 'Naruto' could have gone if Sasuke were female and how this would have affected the story. It's largely romantic, Nostalgic and will explore the journey of their relationship and how it changed over time, including them becoming friends, falling to lovers, breaking up and more. I'm all for a revival of the Naruto Fandom!
Relationships: (onesided), Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 13
Kudos: 98





	1. Wind

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I want to disclaim that I don't own Naruto.   
The reason I chose to make Sasuke a female isn't because I'm homophobic but realistic. Unfortunately, in our world the odds of two male shounen protagonists being in a gay relationship is incredibly unlikely due to target audiences etc. Considering Kishimoto-sensei's writing style, I imagine a female Sasuke would have ended up Naruto's main love interest. 
> 
> It might sound silly, but I also believe that Naruto could have been the literal greatest love story of all time if Naruto and Sasuke had been in a relationship and the series had build up to that, ending in their marriage. This is my fanon of the series if it was made for that intention.   
It's also inspired by many of the beautiful Naruto openings and endings, as you might be able to tell from the descriptions~

**A/N: This first chapter is set when they're children under 13. The next will begin from their meeting and lead to the Zabuza mission, followed by the Chunin exams, Itachi's visit, Sasuke leaving, the start of Shippuden etc. It will jump in multiple places to keep things interesting, focusing on mainly the Naruto and Sasuke interactions. **

**Please Enjoy and share! I'd love to revive the Naruto fandom a bit!**

** [Listen to this while reading!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkct-Cxw8LE) **

* * *

There was a bright light above Naruto. So bright, the sky around it looked vivid blue. So bright, his tiny hands were lit, appearing yellow under the harsh gaze of sunlight. He sat alone, so small the grass came up to his neck, snaking around him and reaching to the sky like a forest. 

  
It hid him and him alone, leaving the boy to curl up in it and hide from the rest of the world. If he could, he'd lay here forever. He'd love to. To enjoy the strange comfort of feeling truly and utterly alone, insignificant. Where he could pretend he didn't exist. The orphan played this game quite often. He laid right here on the grass quite often, on days where he'd woken to a dark, empty home, not knowing what to do with his life and how to pass his hours.   
His body took him to the fields, far from the glares and whispers and sharp words of the adults that hated him. They called him a monster and threw him from shops, making him feel like less then the dirt on the ground for no reason. Naruto didn't ponder it. He didn't like to wonder why all the other children got to be happy, _smiling and laughing with their families,_ but him. 

When he laid in the grass under the volume of the wind, he forgot it all. Watching the stray leaves of tall green trees blow and watching butterflies float away to a freedom he craved. Sometimes he tried to follow it, wondering where it might lead him. If it could take him to a better life.   
He ran far and wide, through forests and fields, to places he shouldn't be at such a young age. Places where snakes could swallow him whole or his tiny legs could run right off the sharp edge of a cliff. Nobody cared enough to stop him or make sure he was safe.

Nobody cared as he snuck out the back door every day, unable to handle sitting alone in a class of children that avoided him like he was a disease. Why did they hate him? He thought as he ran, tears in his eyes until they became sore and dry.   
  
Why do they go quiet whenever he spoke but laugh for everyone else? Why did they run and shove him when he just wanted to ask how they were, or see the toys they were playing with?   
Naruto's foot hit a rock sharply and suddenly he was tumbling. He fell down and he was in the grass again, knees trembling and rough and scratched. Warm blood dripped down his skin but he didn't feel the pain.   
  
As he got older and tripped harder, it hurt even less. His skin is numb. The sky was vibrant blue, but Naruto's eyes grew dull.   
One day he ran, determined to catch the lonely butterfly this time. He ran and ran only to discover that the lonely butterfly had a family too. Dozens of butterflies that flew above his head and out of reach. Naruto was left alone, the only one without a family, the companion he'd thought was just like him had gone.   
  
Naruto's life was one trapped in a heavy cage. He laid back down on the grass, alone. 

* * *

Did you hear?"  
  
The whispers prick his ears because he knows their kind all too well. That tone of voice is easy to predict. Naruto figures that whatever evil they're about to whisper will be about him. It will be cruel. The kind of thing they should keep a secret but never had the respect to do so. They had no idea how much their words hurt Naruto and didn't fear that they would get in trouble. So they said their words out loud, blaming him, hating him and cursing him. It wasn't just the children but their parents too. Their grandmas, grandpas, even their pets barked at him with hatred.

Naruto couldn't bare to hear anymore that day, so in a fit of anger he turned sharply to glare at the boys on the desk above but-  
But their eyes weren't looking at him.   
To the right of the room in the furthest corner there was a girl. A classmate that Naruto had heard of because it was impossible not to hear about _her. _  
What he heard next was something he'd never forget.   
  
They were cautious, hateful, bitchy whispers, words full of sympathy but spoken as gossip. Words letting him know that there was someone else in this village who knew hurt the way Naruto knew it. There was someone who was alone. 

  
Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto thought, looking up at the girl and trying to catch her gaze. She sat alone and aloof. She used to be quite energetic, quite cheery and definitely popular. Naruto remembered clearly.   
But today she was quiet as a raindrop and when her onyx eyes looked straight ahead, they were unfocused and dull as if the world before Sasuke had faded to grey.   
As if the girl was feeling _numb_.   
Naruto could understand that feeling. He recalled the blunt pressure of numbness against his chest. His eyes turned back to Iruka sensei. The lesson came to a start.   
  
That day in the field, there was another butterfly, trapped on the ground with him. Another butterfly with broken wings, sitting on the tip of a tall, extended strand of grass. Its wing was injured, so Naruto sat before it, legs crossed and head tilted. He watched in fascination as its wings changed from dark violet, to blue, to yellow in the waves of sunlight. 

* * *

The next day he found himself looking over his shoulder again. Sasuke was quiet again. The look in his eyes hadn't healed. Naruto turned back to face the Sensei again.   
Something wasn't right in the classroom. The atmosphere had switched but nobody else seemed to notice. Something was missing. Someone.   
The old Sasuke had answered every question right and made everyone cheer or gasp with amazement. Sasuke today was silent, the whole energy of the class knocked out of balance as a result. He was silent today. And the day after that. And the day after that. A curiosity settled into Naruto's stomach, mixing with intrigue.   
  
When Naruto chased after Sensei after class he was met with annoyance. He tried to ask about Sasuke, tried to point out that something was wrong and get this awful, muddled feeling off his chest but no words he let could do the feeling justice. It was so frustrating, so alarming that the teacher just didn't understand no matter how hard he tried to express himself with words.   
Naruto was about to cry, the Sensei's words harsh, when there was a break through.

"I just- I just I feel like Sasuke's_ sad!"_

The older man's eyes changed. He kneeled down, put his hand gently on Naruto's hair and for the first time, said something with genuine kindness in his voice. Naruto had never felt kindness before. It was like discovering a new colour he'd never seen. It felt good, so good it almost distracted him from his purpose but the words ruined it all.   
  
"Sasuke is going through something that you couldn't understand Naruto. I think it's for the best if you leave him be."  
The words meant well, but kept Naruto up at night.   
  
He didn't like them.   
He didn't like that Sensei thought he didn't know pain. If someone was in pain surely they should try to understand them. Surely they should try to help rather then leaving them. If being 'left' felt as awful as Naruto felt everyday, then he wouldn't wish that on his worst enemies.   
The next evening as he approached the injured butterfly and held out his hand to comfort it, it flew away. Naruto stopped coming to the field after that. He stopped ditching class and instead, chose that day to sit beside Sasuke. 

* * *

His heart was racing the whole time.   
His hands were fiddling under the table, heart stuffed with emotion that couldn't come to his lips as he rehearsed over and over in his mind how he would try to approach Sasuke. How he would try to help the girl who was just as alone as him.   
  
He found the Uchiha made no words of greeting to him and no acknowledgement of his presence. Fine, he'd have to make her notice him. Naruto would have to fight. He was about to open his lips and whisper a 'psst!' to get her attention, when for the first time in weeks, Sasuke Uchiha raised her hand.   
  
"Sasuke." Sensei seemed to notice it just as fast, choosing the girl and allowing her to answer his question. Correct. Suddenly Naruto's stomach twisted and he glanced back at the board, daunted by the difficult problem he couldn't dream of understanding. His confidence fading fast. 

* * *

Sasuke was talking again. More than just talking, she was fighting. Learning hard, fighting harder and never, never playing. There were no more victory smiles and no more laughs of joy or skips of excitement as he told other classmates about what she and her family planned to do when she got home.   
All of that was gone and in it's wake, a new Sasuke.   
  
He could feel more and more people around them noticing as Sasuke scored the highest in the class. As Sasuke answered questions right and destroyed every obstacle in her way. It gave Naruto shivers, to see that someone so hurt, someone with nothing, someone like** him,** become so... amazing.   
It gave him hope that he could be strong too. It had never occurred to Naruto that people like them could succeed. That he didn't have to hide but that he could be confident. That he could be the best at something when everyone looked at him like he was the worst. Motivated, he threw kunai and practised punches, kicked high and learned his hand signs.   
  
Somehow it was fun. Somehow Sasuke became stronger and stronger, as if she wasn't a weak little girl without a family but royalty. A Hokage in the making. That was pretty cool.   
  
But the more Sasuke bounced back the further Naruto fell behind. Sasuke got further and further away from him, making it harder to talk to her. Every time he thought that he and Sasuke where the same, the girl did something so cool, it made Naruto Naruto back to his place.   
At school she was this amazing, surreal person. Naruto was forced back from her, no longer able to sit beside her as all the others in the class would battle for that spot. So he sat behind. Several seats behind, watching not Sensei, or Sakura with her cherry blossom hair, or even Kiba and the other boys he once longed to be friends with. No.   
He spent his hours looking at the back of the long navy silk of Sasuke's hair.   
  


* * *

One night, unable to bare staying at home in the dark he headed to the park. It was an odd day. A day where children had played with him and not treated him like a monster.   
He knew it would be short lived. he knew it would be too good to be true. When their parents snatched them away and their eyes turned to contempt Naruto stood still, smile slowly falling down. He watched them leave. Felt the warmth of the sun leave too, draining the park to a cold and silent cage.   
  
His heart would break if he stayed any longer. Naruto could pretend he had places to be. Naruto could walk with purpose, head held high as if his home wasn't empty and as if he wouldn't spend the nights crying alone. As if he was loved.   
The new park had been opened as a memorial, a large part of the village had been opened up. The buildings demolished and the park opened to bring life to the area. It was calm. Silent. It was a nice new part of the leaf to explore, he lied in his head, as his skin grew cold. As his mind betrayed him and wondered why he was so hated?  
  
Naruto finally made it to the top of the hill where he could stand tall, looking down at the river that flowed just beyond. His heart raced, the sapphire sun reflecting off the water and making the entire park very bright. It was big and bright enough to remind him that he was alone.   
That no matter how beautiful the village may be, he would never have anyone to share it with.   
So Naruto ran.   
  
He would have ran all the way home.   
He would have thrown himself onto the bed to cry.   
But when he followed the river's twists and curls along the lonely banks of the village's park, a small deck stretching out to the see came into view. It wasn't the deck that made Naruto skid to a halt. It was the girl that sat ever so still on the very edge of it. She was small. As small as him; her back but a dot of darkness against the wide horizon, where the skyline kissed the shores of the river.

There was a beautiful view Naruto could stare at. Photographers would photograph it, painters would paint it. But to Naruto, the entire view was overshadowed by Sasuke.  
The back of long, straight, black hair, the same hair he stared at day after day. That he knew very well. That he could never get bored of. Somehow, it would never get old. There would always be something to stare at. Perhaps the way the dark waves blew gently in the wind from the water. Perhaps the way it caught the light and became royal blue, a colour so inky it reminded him of storybook drawings of oceans and seas.   
  
As if sensing him, Sasuke turned. 

Their eyes met and Naruto was so caught back he pulled a face. The girl pulled one right back, a look of disgust shared between them. As if to say, _Ew, not you? why are you here? I wasn't looking at you!_  
Suddenly he was so embarrassed, convincing Sasuke that he wasn't staring became his top priority.   
His head turned away sharply and he hurried away down the path. It wasn't until he got home and caught sight of his reflection, that Naruto realised he'd been wearing a genuine smile. It seemed so insignificant, but Naruto would never forget that day. The first day he and Sasuke locked eyes. 

* * *

Naruto was ten years old when he worked up the courage to go to her. It was another day, one of many when Naruto was walking the path above the hill of the park and Sasuke sat alone on the deck.   
There was no reason for it to be this day at all. There was no trigger or change.   
  
It was Naruto's body not his mind that walked slowly up the deck, close enough to see the last Uchiha's feet swinging several inches above the water, back and forth in a calm, gentle sway.   
She must have noticed him coming, her skills as a ninja way to refined not to. This time she let him draw near, only turning to glare sharply up at Naruto when he was close enough to touch. The look was powerful, those eyes so strong he froze and didn't know why he was here.   
  
Naruto threw his hands into his pockets, feigning disinterest and poking out his bottom lip.  
  
"You're always hogging this place. What if I want to stand here too?" He grumbled, never going to admit that he was here for Sasuke, not the view or the wind or the river.   
  
"Fine. Have it to yourself, loser-"  
"Wait!"   
Sasuke stood to leave but Naruto was twice as fast. Their eyes locked again and it was like a spark charged through them. They were close this time, so much closer than usual. It took too long to register that the look in her dark eyes is asking why? Realising he needed to give an answer, he stepped towards the Uchiha and said, "You're always here so I wanted to know what's so good about the spot. Now that I'm here, it's pretty cool right?"  
  
Sasuke's expression was blank and silent. Her eyes were so big, blinking towards him and listening to his words. Naruto was uncertain and excited. He'd never spoken to Sasuke Uchiha before. He didn't know how she would react or what words she would like.   
  
"It's almost like there's no road if we stand on the very edge of it, it's like we're on a boat or standing in the middle of the water, right!?" He rambled. His voice was chipper, excited and enthusiastic.   
Sasuke looked back at him and nods. The movement was subtle, but her weight had changed. She was no longer ready to spring away at the nearest moment. He wasn't sure if she shares his enthusiasm or not. She certainly didn't offer anymore words.   
Now with both of them standing, a new kind of pressure fell on Naruto's shoulders. Pressure of them having to stand so close to both fit on the deck, of their eyes being level and the soft smell of Sasuke floating towards him on the breeze.   
  
The feeling was so overwhelming he ran from it quickly by jumping to walk along the very edge of the deck.   
"I think this is a pretty great spot for playing," he started, not standing still for a single second as his chest pounded with energy. "A pirate game maybe, or a game where we see mermaids coming towards us on the horizon. Or maybe a game where you and me are ninjas and our mission is to-"  
  
"Don't fall, idiot." Her voice was low and warning. Naruto just has to spin on his heel to face the girl with the widest grin, hands out wide with confidence and one leg in the air.   
"I'll be fine!" He giggled, as his leg buckled and his whole world dropped fast.   
  
Naruto gasped, breath hitching in sharply but a strong grip held him just above the water. He was in ankle deep. Sasuke was strong to hold him up by the shirt, their eyes locked and frantic but Sasuke reacting with calmness. She had no choice but to pull him over her head, flipping him in the air and sending an array of water kicking up to the sky. His back slammed down on the deck and he lay in shock.   
Sasuke wobbled and fell to her knees beside him, recovering from having to lift a boy equal to her weight. For a moment they stared, then Naruto chuckled and it was so infectious, Sasuke's musical laughter jittered into his ears. The sound was soft but it was effective. Her smile wasn't big. In fact, her lips were sealed shut, but there was a pretty smile to them, a pretty smile Naruto couldn't help but look up at with big blue eyes.   
  
Then the water he'd kicked up fell down on them in cold droplets and they both winced out loud.   
  
"Hey," Naruto said, sitting up once their laughter had died down, "There's a park nearby, do you want to come and play?"  
  
His heart raced at the offer of the words, as if they meant so much more than what they sounded. Naruto had never had a friend to bring to the park with him. He'd never had someone to play with when the sun went down. Sasuke would be perfect, someone who lacked a home or parents to tell them when to come home just like him. Playing with Sasuke would be so good! Naruto could imagine it now. Could fantasise about having a friend, about the two of them going into the academy laughing together as he saw so many of the other children do with their friends.   
Sasuke's smile fell. She sat up straight and turned her face away. 

He knew before she even spoke that he'd said something wrong.   
  
"I have to go."  
This time it was final. Naruto's heart twisted into a tight ball as the girl stood and wondered down the deck. This time he didn't object, only watching until she was so far, he had to suck in a breath before he yelled.   
  
"Well... I'll see you in class, Sasuke!"  
It sounded strange to say the name. Strange in that awkward, new way because they weren't quite friends.   
Thinking back to the look in those dark eyes, he realised with great warmth that despite not being friends, Sasuke didn't look at him with hatred. 


	2. Graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto is unexpectedly able to come closer to Sasuke on the day they graduate from the academy.

Naruto was eleven years old when he realised that Sasuke was pretty. Really pretty.

She wasn't Sakura pretty, with a warm, girl-next-door smile and the smell of strawberries but something else. Something different. It was around this time that every boy seemed to notice, actually. Naruto was eleven, with a growing crush on Sakura, a comfortably rivalry with Sasuke and sore fingers from kunai training, when the first of their class confessed to Sasuke. He distinctly remembered the class falling silent, everyone staring. He distinctly remembered his heart stopping in his chest for a second, fear? Shock? Naruto didn't know what. 

It was gone the moment it came, Sasuke brushing it off and then relief sank in. Sasuke was way too cool for that. Soon, Naruto would snicker childishly at every confession because he knew they embarrassed the Uchiha. At the sounds of his laughter, dark eyes would lock into his and narrow into dangerously thin slits.  
Then Naruto would pull an ugly face, poke out his tongue or even gesture to his butt then that was that. It would repeat with every confession. That was it. That was about as far as any interactions between them went.   
Naruto would still think about the lonely Uchiha girl and how amazing she was when he trained. He would still feel a rumble of jealousy in his stomach every time she succeeded and would still curse and struggle when Sasuke beat him - and every other boy - in hand to hand combat lessons.   
Sasuke Uchiha was beautiful, not as an object of affection, but as a role model. As someone to look up to. As a source of motivation. As an image of what Naruto dreamed to be. If he could become strong long Sasuke...  
  
Naruto didn't know what would come of it, but the feeling in his heart promised something amazing. 

* * *

The chestnut and cedar trees were bright with summer light the morning of graduation.  
Sakura looked up and not a cloud sat in the entire azure sky. If that wasn't a sign of angel's blessing, she didn't know what was. It reassured her, encouraging her, lifted her confidence. Sakura had a special mission today, and that was to follow her heart.   
That didn't decrease her nerves as she walked out of her house towards the school.  
  
Her hands rested above the cotton lycra dress on her stomach, which ached with the hunger of not having breakfast. The guilt of not having a stomach as flat as Ino's or toned as Sasuke's aside, Sakura didn't want to risk putting anything into her body with such a high risk of throwing it up later in the day.   
Her nerves were high. Not because today was the day they graduated the academy. Not because today was the day she may have to say goodbye to so many of her friends who were heading off in different paths.   
The only thing that mattered to Sakura, was that today was the day she'd confess her feelings for Sasuke.  
  
Sakura had known for a long time that her adoration for the Uchiha girl was more than healthy. In her eyes, Sasuke was everything. The girl was so beautiful and so admirable in everything she did. Talking to her, Sakura felt that every word from Sasuke's lips felt like a hug.   
She wanted to hug Sasuke. She wanted to kiss Sasuke.   
  
Her cheeks flushed heavily because in the hidden leaf village, dreams of kissing another girl were not normal. What would Ino think, Sakura found herself wondering? Would the girls call her disgusting? Would they go back to ignoring her like the days before the academy, when she was a small, scared child?   
In all honesty, Sakura would trade her friendships in a heartbeat if it meant she could stay by Sasuke's side. 

* * *

Naruto was certain Sakura lit up the room when she entered because her voice was always so confident and loud. Just his type~!  
Naruto sank back into his chair dreamily and gave an enthusiastic wave. "Good morning Sakura! Want to sit next to me-"  
  
The girl looked genuinely taken aback by this, eyes wide. It was then with a sinking boat of embarrassment in his stomach, that he realised she'd been talking to her friend on the other side of him... not him. Her close friend in fact, the friend Naruto could never make. Sasuke. With a tilt of his head, he glared at the top of their class.   
  
She'd cut her hair that day. Inches and inches of long navy strands, waved at the ends like the ocean, gone. Naruto didn't give it much consideration. Sasuke was still Sasuke after all but everyone else was making a massive deal about it. Big deal!  
There was a crowd of girls already, huddling behind Sasuke, giving their comments and fangirling. The girls were bad but the boys, eesh. Naruto didn't even want to acknowledge that many stare. All of their heart eyes and gentle compliments. Eck! Eck! Eck! Naruto found sappy things like that made him sick. He hated it when they looked at Sasuke like that because she was so cool, way cooler than some romance character.   
  
A soft gasp came from Sakura as she took her seat after shoving Naruto out of the way.   
"Sasuke..." she was by her side in a second, fingers reaching out and running through the remains of Sasuke's hair. Her eyes said it all, glistening with an endless sea of emotions. He watched Sasuke tilt her head towards Sakura and nod, he watched slim fingers brush through silky blue with adoration.   
The front strands were still long, framing her pretty features while the back came up in short, effortless spikes. Sitting above her brow to bring the new haircut together was a glistening metal band with the symbol of the leaf etched in.   
Naruto's chest felt full with pride. Sakura's chest felt full with something else, her cheeks dying the colour of her dress as she quickly took her seat and tried to resist rubbing her hands all over her aloof classmate's hair.   
  
"I'm sure you've heard this already but you look really pretty Sasuke!" Dozens of voices joined in to agree with that. The girls started up a conversation.   
Naruto couldn't look. Sasuke was always the centre of attention, even when she didn't say a word. She'd casually walked in looking like a magazine model as much as a ninja, she'd graduated on top of the class and wore her headband on her head but the girl didn't even look proud! She didn't grin, she didn't laugh. She didn't celebrate of chuckle and this made Naruto's blood boil. It was as if the whole graduation was too easy for her.   
  
He hopped up onto the table and glared, dark ocean eyes meeting his. There was a moment of shock, a moment of realisation where Sasuke's expression was unreadable before he spoke.   
"What's the big deal! Everyone's always talking about 'Sasuke this,' 'Sasuke that!' I don't see what's so good about you-"

That was when it happened. Their first kiss was when they were twelve years old, one of many and one moment that changed the course of Naruto's life. One moment Naruto was scowling in that bitter way he did with Sasuke, not ever dreaming of letting the fact that he was fond of these interactions out-  
The next his lips were pressed against hers and Sasuke tasted softer than a summer rose. Sasuke's expression turning to absolute horror and humiliation hit Naruto hard. Panic soared up, reminding him of where they were, who they were, why he couldn't get carried away.

"Bleurgh!" Both teens jerked back but the damage had been done. Everyone was looking and those who weren't laughing were cursing Naruto to death.   
Sasuke started to sputter up and from the sheer shock of it, Naruto did too.   
"Eh- Sasuke! What did you! Ugh my mouth is rotting" He sobbed. 

Everyone already hated him, now they'd resent him even more. 

* * *

Naruto's had lied though. Sasuke's mouth had a unique feeling. It was a feeling that spread down his spine and slid to the very tips of his fingers. He'd kissed Sasuke, the person he looked up to the most. The person who glared at him every time their eyes accidentally met in the talk.   
Yikes. More than anything else, humiliation took the reins. Naruto shrank back, praying and praying that whoever he ended up with in his squad, it wasn't Sasuke.   
Of course, fate had other plans.

"Now team seven, Naruto Uzumaki. Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha."

The second he heard the name their eyes locked. Sasuke was already been looking at him, Naruto not expecting it and flinching just a little, feeling a tug of electricity and energy release like static between them. Her eyes a blank slate, impossible to read as always yet Naruto's mind tried to get inside the girl's brain.   
It was no use.   
  
"Tch, just don't get in my way dead last."  
Naruto's knew there was no real venom in the words. He knew venom better than anyone else. He knew that Sasuke's words were as playfully hostile as they'd always been. He turned to face her with determination in his eyes and hissed.   
  
"Hey, I'm not some weakling that's going to get in your way and don't call me that."  
"What are you going to do, kiss me to death?"  
The voice was bitter and mocking. It made Sakura choke on the air and left Naruto's mouth open, unable to form a response with the memory on his lips resurfacing again. The class interrupted into chaos because Sasuke didn't talk very often. Saying something like that only excited everyone. 

* * *

The wind blew, cold from this high up as Naruto sat alone on the tallest roof top he could find that lunch. The other classmates were off in groups celebrating far from where they'd be able to see him. Naruto didn't want to see them. He didn't need the reminder that nobody would invite him to the celebrations. He didn't need anymore rain on his parade after Sasuke already soured his day.   
  
"Stupid Sasuke... who does she think she is!" He complained to no one in particular, still thinking about her- about their first kiss. He hated how she thought she was so perfect, how she said those words with such confidence that she was he most beautiful and most skilled and most ninja!   
While Naruto was just...   
Nothing.   
  
Movement in one of the shadows before him caught his attention. The tormentor of his mind was right there, standing before him like a well wrapped gift. Naruto's heart skipping a beat for a second for feat that he'd been caught. As he held his breath, leaning forward to stare without even realising it, air slowly seeped back into his lungs. The rest of the world faded as Sasuke brushed back a lock of her new, shorter sweeps of hair behind her ear.

She was standing under a roof shade, leaning against the windowsill of a small room, alone. She took a bite of rice and licked her lips clean, Naruto's mind supplying a little too much detail on how her lips must feel pressed against that rice.   
He didn't know why his heart was beating, why his ears were ringing with her cruel taunts and her harsh name for him. Just like that, a devious idea formed.  
  
Before he knew it, he sprinted into action with a fox like grin on his whiskered face. If she thought he'd be a burden, he'd have to show her just how strong he could be!  
Sasuke's cheeks were puffed out cutely as she chewed, elbows resting on the ledge behind when rope tightened around her and she was grabbed, pulled backwards into darkness so fast she barely had time to fight. For a split second Sasuke knew terror.   
  
_Itachi. The massacre. The horror of being grabbed from behind and stolen away by some foreign stranger who wanted her dead flashed before her eyes.   
_  
Then she was on her back and looking up to two gleaming eyes of blue. Naruto looked back, entirely innocuous and immature in his intentions, a wicked grin on his face.   
  
"Dead last?" She grimaced, her own orbs widening as he crouched above her, upside down. Their eyes were locked, his blond hair cradling above her. His hands pulling at the ropes around her arms, binding her tight as he released a cocky giggle.   
  
"Believe it!" He chimed in that annoying, _awful_ way.

No way. All of Sasuke's fear faded to irritation as she kicked up with ease, loosening the rope so it fell off her waist in strings. Naruto's laugh became a screech as his prisoner escaped - what followed next was a struggle.A panic! Naruto dropped his weight on her and bear hugged her to the floor but Sasuke was sharper, quicker in elbowing him and using his weight against them. She wasn't expecting it when a puff of smoke released and suddenly, his clones were grabbing her from all sides. Sasuke may be strong, but so many Naruto's would take anyone by surprise. The kunoichi was already off guard and uncomfortable with rice smeared on her cheek and the rest of her lunch no where to be seen - probably dashed out the window or in a fallen clump on the floor by now.   
Her eyes had barely adjusted to the sharp change of light and her kicks were weak with Naruto's rope rapidly tangling around her legs. Even still she managed to pop a clone with a sharp spinning kick up off the ground against gravity. Two, three, four clones in one move. Damn. Soon enough she was jumping for the window, leaving the other ninja no option but to jump on her, hugging her from behind like a bear and knocking them both in a tumble across the floor.   
"Stop- trying to touch me up idiot!"  
  
"Touch you!" Naruto shrieked, genuinely horrified by the accusation. "EW! I-I'm just doing what I have to as a ninja to restrain you!" he sputtered.   
"You're the one who kissed me-"  
"I thought we agreed that was an accident!" The blond screamed, swatting his hands at the girl and grabbing her wrists in one place so he could tie her up how he wanted.   
  
"So you don't have a crush on me?" Sasuke stopped, tilting up her head. It gave Naruto just the right opportunity to straddle the stronger ninja, pressing down his weight firmly and pulling the edge of the rope tight with his teeth.   
"No! Ughh why do you act like every boy is in love with you! You think you're _so_ cool."  
With a childish grin on his face, Naruto tied the girl up in a way that was surprisingly innocent. Sasuke was looking up at him, the pace of her world slowing to a calm, the fear of her eyes transitioning to her studying him. Her hands were by her sides, her body stiff but without fear.   
  
"So I'm gonna teach you not to be so arrogant!" Naruto poked out his tongue and only then did Sasuke consider that the dead last of his class just wanted to prove that he wasn't weak. For someone so dumb, it wasn't so hard to accept that Naruto didn't see what was wrong with grabbing a girl in a dark room and tying her up. They were both in a dark room, bodies pressed together and Naruto still panting from the fight to keep Sasuke down. His breath reached the pale cheeks of the Uchiha girl as she simply looked up at him and waited.   
The childishness of his actions was strangely _refreshing. _

Naruto didn't look at her with blinding love or lust in his eyes. Naruto didn't see Sasuke as an object. Naruto was looking at the inside.   
"Nothing to say? Heh how about now?"  
With a puff, the ninja sitting above him was no longer Naruto but a copy of herself. 

Sasuke's eyes became lethal.   
"What's your game?"  
"Well, I'm planning a whole list of things," He giggled, "damage some property, swear at our sensei, ruin your good reputation!"   
The blond looked absolutely triumphant, expecting the raven to panic and swat at him until he forced her to concede that he wasn't weak.   
  
Against his plans, Sasuke's guard was down, relieved and relaxed with the blond's obvious innocence.  
"You're so stupid you think they won't notice?" She breathed with a touch of humour, one eyebrow raised. Naruto's eyes scanned over her face and he pouted.   
"You're right. I'd have to be more in character- walk like you, talk like you-"  
"Naruto-"  
  
Blue eyes rushed to Sasuke's quickly. His heart skipping a beat because the way Sasuke said his name was so unique. No one ever said his name like that. He leaned to the girl as she beckoned and listened to what she had to say.   
"You're... you're the boy from the park right?"  
At the memory, one of Naruto's fondest he was silent. All he could manage was a nod, though deep down part of him was thrilled that Sasuke remembered it too. At this, the girl relaxed. As if she trusted Naruto, as if she saw him for what he was. He was like her.   
"That's right, believe it."

"You could only make a pathetic illusion clone before... now you can make four actual clones?"

His face flushed, somehow interpreting the words as more of a compliment. His heart was racing, eyes glistening as he shifted his weight on her and grinned from ear to ear. The voice that found Sasuke's ears was genuinely happy. 

"That's right!" He laughed. This boy was so cheery. It kind of made Sasuke sick. That was the last of Sasuke's words, Naruto realised reluctantly, not wanting to admit that he was disappointed when more words didn't come out.   
  
Sitting up, Naruto realised that he was in the body of Sasuke. A girl.  
  
"Woooah~" A lazy look of intrigue came on his face, eyes falling to his own chest. He felt the real girl under him tense up beneath his hips.

"Girls really are completely different." If Sasuke's arms were out, she'd slap the blond over the head. He locked eyes with her, not his blue innocent orbs but her own, framed with dark lashes and a look of mischief that didn't suit her usually stoic face. Holding this contact, Naruto's hands clenched around the imitations of Sasuke's breasts on his own transformed chest.

Sasuke winced in horror, jerking up in her restraints and headbutting him hard.   
"Hey what are you doing dobe!"

"Ah ah ah-" He pulled back despite the clang of metal on metal as their heads met. Sasuke was pushed back down with ease as Naruto continued to taunt the girl.   
"Down here as well.." he hummed, lifting his hips to pull open the waistband of his shorts and peer down at what girls hid beneath their clothes.   
Sasuke kicked him back to his original form suddenly.

"Cut that out!"  
  
Gritting his teeth, he turned back to the Uchiha with a menacing look, taking advantage of their position and holding her down. Naruto was done playing. He'd been planning on backing her into a corner until she apologised, but since that hadn't worked out, guess it was plan B. He took out two strips of tape, laying them in a cross over her lips as she thrashed and struggled and made it difficult. 

Naruto chuckled as they finally covered her up and Sasuke Uchiha was beneath him, hands bound and eyes looking up almost cutely, she appeared so helpless.   
"Who would've thought the number one in the class could be beaten down by the dead last!"  
With that, he rolled her over, transformed again and disappeared before the smoke of the transformation had even cleared. 

* * *

Naruto's heart beat twice as hard when he was 'Sasuke.' She was nothing like his sexy jutsu. Naruto tried to carry himself differently, not a girl of cute, playfulness but a kunoichi of stealth and grace and style. He walks passed their Sensei and recieved an actual smile.   
He sauntered past a group of boys the way Sasuke did and ignored the way they cheered and looked at him like he was heaven on earth. Naruto could get used to this! He was basically a celebrity, heart lifted by how different it felt to be Sasuke. To have people look at him as a genius and not a burden. To be able to walk freely without adults rushing out of his path as if were a black cat.   
  
His feet were a little smaller in his shoes, his arms smooth and baby soft under the summer wind. When Naruto licked his lips they were as plush as he distinctly remembered Sasuke's feeing against his-  
Naruto stopped when a cheery voice sang Sasuke's name, pure happiness floating in the air as female hands wrapped around his arms in a loose, friendly hug. Naruto turned, coming face to face with the lime green eyes of the prettiest girl in the world, Sakura. The love and care in her gaze was so different from the usual indifference, it stared into him, almost enough to knock him onto the ground. Somehow he managed, though his heart skipped a beat, the thrill of being in Sasuke's form forgotten as Sakura started to talk.  
  
Of course. The girl was close friends with Sasuke, they were probably supposed to meet up or- or do any other _girl thing_ Naruto had no idea about.  
"So Naruto, that dead last loser is going to be on a team with us." He cleared his throat, not used to the low pur of Sasuke's voice as it came out.   
"What do you think of him?"  
  
He- he might as well use the opportunity to get information. To put in a good word for himself. Yeah, that was a good idea!  
Her eyes cloud with confusion before shrugging the question off with a quick and simple answer.   
"Oh him? I don't want to talk about him! Though if I really had to, he's too annoying for words to express," when she looked at Sasuke in humour, expecting his agreement it hurt Naruto. There was something so personal about the way she said it. It made him wonder what he'd ever done wrong?  
  
"I hate how he's always in the way. Whenever I have something important to do he's always in the way!" The hate behind her words was real. Naruto had never been hated for his actions before. For existing sure, but this... this was different.

Slowly, his mood fell to darkness.

"He just- he always makes things difficult. I swear he does it sometimes just because he enjoys seeing my struggle."  
That wasn't true! Naruto screamed in his head.   
He didn't want to make things harder for Sakura, he just couldn't fight his own bad luck. He couldn't help being nervous around her, he couldn't help that whenever they interacted something always went awfully wrong. Suddenly Sakura's expression changed and she looked worried, approaching who she perceived as Sasuke with caution.   
  
"Why you don't... you don't _like_ him do you?"  
"No." Naruto blurted quickly. "No I don't. Definitely not."   
  
He shook his head so much the longer strands of Sasuke's hair hit Sakura's cheeks and he froze. His eyes averted to the side. He couldn't have her thinking Sasuke had a thing for him, that could ruin his chances completely. Besides, this was getting too uncomfortable wait- Sakura's cheeks.

Suddenly he realised how close the girl stood to him. She was only coming close, her conversation becoming way too personal, her words too intimate and the soft tone of her voice too personal. Regret poked at Naruto.   
  
"I'm glad." Sakura realised how her words sounded and tried to recover before stopping herself. What was the point in making up lies? She'd said she'd confess today so even if they were on the same team that didn't change anything. Sakura would get it over and done with.   
She stepped close to him, a shy flush dotted over her pink face.   
Her eyes look at him with so much more than simple friendship. They stared at him as if he was a night sky full of stars. It was too much for Naruto to be on the receiving end of, even under the mask of this form. He took a step back with haste.   
  
"Actually I have something else I want to talk about. It's you Sasuke," her smile warmed Naruto's heart. When he took a step back she took another forward. Her voice became soft and her eyes blurred with fondness.   
"I feel something when I'm with you that I don't get from anyone else. This harmony, like being with you makes everything warm. When I'm with you I'm... just like those boys who stare at you," she laughed gently at herself, a touch of guilt and insecurity stepping in.   
"The truth is, I can't take my eyes off you. Off your dark blue hair and your big eyes," her voice was so dreamy it made Naruto's body freeze up.   
"I like you Sasuke. I like you so much that you're all I can think about, making you smile, being there for you, protecting you, looking up to you and admiring you. For so long, all I've wanted is for you to acknowledge me."  
  
Naruto swallowed hard, paralysed by how familiar Sakura's words were. How much they reminded him of himself. Now he was starting to understand why he was so drawn to Sakura.   
Then her expression changed and the other girl's lips lifted to his. To Sasuke's.   
"I like you and I'd do anything to make you happy."

Oh no. Sakura was going to kiss him - to kiss Sasuke - to kiss another girl!  
Naruto really shouldn't be here. His stomach lurched. 

* * *

When he came back, Sakura was gone.

Chest deflated but also relieved, Naruto ran into Sasuke. He stopped, on guard and prepared for a fight but the girl's lips just tilted ever so slightly into an almost smirk.

"You really think ninja's can't escape," She paused, looking him in the eye, making him realise how dumb he was for not seeing it, _"r__ope_?"

Fine. Next time, Naruto restrained the girl, he'd resort to wire. 

* * *

Naruto would love to say he forgot about the events of the day. He'd love to say he thought of Sakura that night, lying alone on his bed and looking out the window at the blue stars. When the world was quiet and his mind was black, though, all his mind could conjure was Sasuke.   
  
The memory of her words resurfaced, the tone of her voice and expression of her eyes, her slim face, long lashes and round lips crept up on him. The heart racing pleasure of conversing with her, of being seen by her, the one person he admired most. It was almost like _acknowledgement,_ as Sakura had said. He'd interacted with the girl he'd been trying to talk to for years. Not once, not twice but three times.   
  
He'd found out he'd be in a team with her.   
  
Would more conversations come? Would they become friends?   
Naruto chuckled and rested his tired cheek on his arm. When he closed his eyes, he saw her sharp eyes and knowing smirk, he saw her new short her laying messy under him. He felt her warm breath on his cheek, her voice saying "Naruto" - the way nobody else in the world said it - in his ear.   
As hard as he tried not to, he thought of the bliss of her lips. It wasn't a bad feeling at all. 

Secretly, Naruto liked it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm contemplating whether this series should be sweet and romantic, or dark and sensual..? I could certainly see the potential for darkness with their future developments and the conflict between them.   
I'd really appreciate comments on these ideas and the chapter, thanks for reading~

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you thought and give feedback or ideas~!


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